j'en ai marre. all these ppl taking u for granted. friends taking ur advantages. ppl wasting ur time...they bother u for smallest crap of their own...i hate ppl. they don't respect my time, they don't respect my space. i hate them so much i think i'd join the nazi army if it were 70 yrs back.

another thing that makes me feel suicidal is that one day one of our bosses had his family visiting him in the office. his son is not very tall (but i couldn't make sure he's  a kid or just a short grown-up), after the usual introduction, i blurted out 'oh u've grown so tall (the assumed context was that he used to be a little kid; the problem was that there wasn't any context at that moment.)'. later i realized the kid is 24 yrs old. i wanted to cut off my tongue and feed it to dogs.

Not sure how the kid and his parents were affected, but I have been traumatized for the rest of my career life.

necesito un nuevo fight club! sigh.

what i recently heard is that the cheap 2k last minute deal to antarctica has long gone, as Antarctica is now a quite popular tourist destination, it's quite difficult to get a berth by just flying down to ushuaia and wait there for last minute, not to mention there's no more cheap tickets...

need a new thing to dream about. urgh.

i know this sounds peasant, but iphone is sooo pretty, kicks ass totally. bonita! boss just got one, so i finally got chance touching a real iphone. we r trying to get it work somehow...how come no one buys me one? i'm the one who deserves it! speaking of life-is-unfair.

but it's all right, i'm not bitter, not bitter...

MARLA'S VOICE: Where have you been the last eight weeks?
JACK: Marla? How'd you find me?

MARLA: You left that forwarding number. I haven't seen you at any support groups.
JACK: We split them up, that was the idea, remember?

MARLA: Yeah, but you haven't been going to yours.

JACK: How do you know?

MARLA: I cheated.

JACK: I found a new one.

MARLA: Really?

JACK: It's for men, only.

MARLA: Like the testicle thing?

JACK: Look, this is a bad time...

MARLA: I've been going to Debtor's Anonymous. You wanna see some really xxxxed up people?
----

i guess i also found a new one. travelling to antarctica. dreaming about it, planning for it, learning foreign languages for it...

and everybody's whining, man or woman, whining about their love life, about their lonliness, about their boredom, their hollow being, and every whining person is pretending to be profound and philosophical so their whining can be mystified and validated.  

to each and every whining person, i want to scream, 'get a grip! or find yourself a fight club!' Whatever you do, just don't waste precious human time on fcking abstract philosophical self-examining! if u r lonely and bored, that's just becoz u r lonely and bored! believe me, there's no other more profound philosophical reasons behind it! if u can't find a lover, believe me, it's just becoz u r too ugly or too picky! there's no profoundness behind anything! what you see is what you get! 'what's the meaning of ur meaningless life?' sorry nobody cares! human beings r just animals, normal animals, it wont worth anybody's while to analyse the stupid animal, human beings r trivial, if u really get no better thigns to do and love thinking, think about universe, about how to explore the world...just anything bigger than urself!

i'm fed up. 

next time a man come whining to me, i'm going to punch him in the face!...at least, mentally.

and what about this universal bitching about women chasing after money? we can look into this issue when one day men stop chasing after big b**bs.

human beings r just animals, whatever ur age, color, sx, i hv no respect for anyone. actually i do hv respect for original animals, like leopards or lions,etc, becoz, they eat they sleep they hunt they look at the blue sky and they die, except for the physical pain, they never whine.

am pretty much in a fervent state of dreaming/planning for year end antarctica trip. my espanol studying is progressing well (consequently my french is deteriorating, esp the pronounciation!), also financially it looks very much doable, the only prob now seems to be how i can get my boss on a month-long holiday so i can get away for that long time! and of course even a month is way too short for south america plus antarctica.

very intense.

another yr, got salary raise; co. stocks fell below ipo price (so no way to count on it for realizing my 2008 fortune); got into fight with a silly colleague over a silly thing that escalated to hr, which i think i'm winning so far (that evening i was back from work after the fight, all excited up, feeling so hot in the coldest SH winter); still practicing my espanol rr when nobody's around, resulting in sore throat all the time, lying to ppl i got a perpetual cold; now i'm just at lesson 8 and i'm all mixed up with fraincais y ingles, e.g. i'd say to fr boy (who speaks fluent espanol too): oh j suis encore en escuela...or 'he's son padre?'  Bumped into an ex colleague at metro ticket counter, after the usual hello she abruptly asked whether i'm still single. i replied and asked her too. then we said goodbye and i said spontaneously 'Keep in touch' - the irony is we never left each other with any phone nr or email...is it just me or is everybody in a big city so ridiculously hypocritical?

i'm also thinking a lot about my trip S America + Antarctica (earliest this Dec; latest next Dec). It's kinda confirmed that the cheapest price from Ushuaia to Antarctica is less than 2K us dollars for two weeks cruise to some islands of antartica (if you want to go to the south pole itself, thats so much more expensive!). But i heard some crazy backpackers even hitchhiked all the way there! i'm trying to get in touch with these crazy ppl, so far hvn't succeeded. p.s. latin americans r really nice like everybody says, i was inquiring on an argentina forum about the fare to antartica, there's already ppl inviting me to stay at their home!

once u start travelling a bit farther, u'll find so many cool ppl doing so many unthinkable things...like, hitchhiking through 7 continents...living (not travelling) in antarctica etc...i might as well try that too! hopefully sooner than later!

one day fr boy said i'm like a gypsy, which made me think. coz i myself never saw that aspect of my life. anyway, before i made up my mind, i'd take it as compliment

i ended up only going to lijiang and lugu lake (the so-called last matriachal society in the world). i had some interesting stories and met some interesting people. some pics r here:

http://www.go2eu.com/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=103500&order=0&viewmode=flat&forum=51&start=0

http://www.go2eu.com/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=103852&forum=51

been extremely busy, so just let things happen without recording  some ppl r driving me crazy, some making me laugh, and i've made some new cool friends

remember this is the yr i'm supposed to become unbeliveably rich? so far nothing happened. Fr boy said i'd be so disappointed at the end of the yr, i said i'd just think the fortune teller made a wrong calculation and i'd wait for next yr. he said he loved it how so many chinese women still hv a young heart at 30 and keep dreaming. voila.

in less than 3 weeks i'll hv my next holidays, back home, this time. i kinda made up my mind i'll quit travelling for a yr or so, to save money and time for my next long trip to S america and antartica!